Txts Frm Crzy Ppl or Perry's Rampage
by JessObsess
Summary: # 1: JD receives dirty texts from someone claiming to be Perry, and Perry is not happy. Rated T for sexy-texts.


Hey, y'all. I'm back with something new! And I'm very happy. It's not a really plotty thing, just a series of short stories. Some of them may be drabbly, but most will probably be a little longer.

I think it's kind of funny how it came about, but if you all don't want to hear it you can just skip along to the story part. Anyway, I found myself bored in my U.S. History class, shock of all shocks, and I started writing down any words that popped into my head, and eventually it turned into my own little prompt list. So yeah. Wow, that was very interesting for you all, I'm sure. Now, onto the story! But first:

Disclaimer: Grrrrr.

**One - Texts**

"Perry wasn't lying when he said he was into texting," JD sighed, leaning his head onto the nurse's station and gazing up at Carla. "I keep having to remind him that with my plan I don't get texts, and I have to pay for each and every damn one he sends me!"

Carla tried not to smile. Those two were so damn cute together, there were no words. And even if there were words, she wouldn't dare say them in front of Perry. He would most likely get all weird about his masculinity and hurt JD's feelings to prove his point. Then Turk would have to kill him, which would make JD sad, and it was all just a long road of despair and hurt and depression. So she wouldn't say how amazingly adorable they were as a couple, although it was hard. "That sucks, JD. Want me to tell him off?"

JD sighed again, murmured, "No thanks, Carla," then jumped as his cell phone buzzed and began playing "Barbie Girl."

Carla raised an eyebrow at the choice of ringtone, and JD flushed and said in explanation, "It was probably the Janitor." He fumbled to get his cell out of his pocket, and looked at the new text notification from "Perry: Cuddle Bear," also the Janitor's work, he told Carla when she peeked over his shoulder and snorted.

He glared at the offending means of communication, before clicking the text open.

_Are u by yourself?_

JD furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, wondering why Perry wanted him to be alone. He said to Carla he'd be back in a few minutes, then walked into an empty room across the hallway and closed the door behind him.

_I am now. Why?_

A minute later, his cell buzzed again.

_Cuz. I kinda wanna cyber._

_What the hell is that?_ JD sent back.

_cyber, you know. like cyber sex over txt._

JD's face turned pink, and he cleared his throat. He'd heard of that, he thought. He was having to pay for each of these texts though . . . but, it could be worth it.

_Um. Sure, I guess. Yeah, you go ahead._

_do u have any idea what you do to me? how hot you make me? I can't stand being in the same hospital as you and not being able to throw you down on the nearest flat surface and make you cum so hard you scream._

JD swallowed and sat down heavily on the bed, feeling himself already reacting to Perry's texts. A few seconds later, he received the continuation of the message.

_I have this fantasy where I bend u right over the nurse's station and prepare you real quick, bcuz I can't wait that long. I need u right away, right there, tight and panting and sweating and moaning._

JD swore under his breath, trailing a hand down his body, his breathing already speeding up.

Suddenly, the door burst open and in walked the sender of the arousing texts.

"Newbie! Have you seen my cell phone? I can't find it, and I know I brought it from the house today, and it was in my locked and now _it's not there._"

JD jerked his hand out of his scrubs pants, eyes widening in shock and surprise.

Perry's eyes also rounded as he saw the space his lover's hand had just vacated. He smirked, "Was I interrupting something?"

Already pink-tinted cheeks turned red, and JD said, "No! I mean, I was just – you were – wait, your cell phone isn't – then who the hell is _this_?"

Perry's eyes narrowed. "Somebody's been texting you? With _my_ phone? What've they been saying to you?!"

JD, who's red face had only just begun turning back to his normal pale tone, suddenly blushed again as he remembered the texts. Then, as it clicked that it _hadn't_ been his significant other sending them, he began feeling . . . violated.

"Newbie!" Perry snapped JD out of his thoughts, his eyes narrowing further when JD looked up at him with slightly fearful eyes. "What did they say?"

"Nothing!" JD squeaked out.

Perry lunged for the phone in the younger man's hand, managing to wrestle it away from him in a matter of seconds. He stood up and brushed down his scrubs, then proceeded to read the last few texts sent from "Perry: Cuddle Bear." He decided to ignore what his name was on JD's phone for now (there was sure to be much mocking later, however) as he looked over what had made JD blush so hard.

Perry's nostrils flared a little as he read the last two texts. How dare _whoever_ this was verbally and virtually molest _his_ Newbie whilst impersonating him? While the texts did bring up quite the interesting images and ideas, the fact that it was someone else projecting them made Perry very angry. And when Perry got angry, he got even.

"I'm gonna kill 'em," Perry growled.

JD watched with wide eyes as the older doctor stormed out of the room, and far too late to be heard, he yelled after him, "But you don't even know you _them_ is!"

JD rolled his eyes and sighed, then shuddered a bit and looked around the dark room a little warily. He would at least feel better knowing who the creepy texter was. Not knowing meant it could be anyone. Anyone in the hospital, harboring lustful feelings for him and who would resort to semi-stalkeresque methods to get him where they wanted him. It was fairly unnerving.

The mysterious creeper was definitely someone who was at the hospital. No one else would have close enough access to Perry's locker. Perry's locker . . . In fact, nobody had the older man's locker combination, except Perry and . . . No. No way. It couldn't be, it was just too horrible to imagine.

JD was suddenly struck with an idea. There was no way this person could have _real_ feelings for him, he was most likely just playing a joke, and if so, JD knew how to get him to reveal himself.

He pulled his cell phone from where Perry had deposited on the bed (after glaring at it and managing somehow not to throw it at the wall, of course) and typed in the number to Perry's cell phone, choosing the "Text Perry: Cuddle Bear" option. He then typed in a message.

_God, I love you so much._

JD smirked as the message was sent, knowing that if anything were to get to the creepy text-sender, that would be it. And he found he was correct, when a moment later his cell phone buzzed, indicating a new text.

_Good Lord, Scooter, I have never been so disgusted in my entire life!_

The young doctor couldn't help but feel a bit insulted by that, but then he let out a triumphant "Ha! I knew it!" when he noticed that the mysterious texter had called him "Scooter." He let out a loud snort when a few seconds later the phone buzzed again, and up popped a text which read:

_I meant Newbie!!_

JD simply sat and laughed until his face was red and tears were streaming from his eyes. Then, he recalled that a raging Perry had gone to find the person who had sent the texts, but that he had no idea who it was!

"Crap." JD shot up, ran to the door and yanked it open. Who knew who the curly-haired man would threaten, thinking that they had been perving on JD from behind the smoke screen of a cell phone.

It wasn't too long before he came across a fuming Percival Cox who had a sweating lawyer shoved into a wall.

"Don't give me that crap, Buckley, I've seen the way you look at him!"

"I s-swear, I've never looked at Dr. Dorian in that way in my entire life!"

"Are you saying he's _unattractive_?"

"N-no, of course not! Dr. Dorian is a very g-good looking man!"

"So it _was _you! You little –" Perry's arm was raised, and JD quickly ran over and latched onto it.

"Perry, stop it, it wasn't him! It was the Janitor!"

Perry turned to look at him, eyes narrowed almost impossibly. "_What?_" he growled, sounding very much like he was ready to kill.

"Uh, it wasn't Ted?" JD said weakly.

"You just told me that the _Janitor_ sent you those - those _things_?"

"Well, yes, but I'm sure it was just a joke!"

"Oh, we'll see if he's laughing when I stab him with a scalpel." Perry's eyes glinted dangerously and JD giggled, sounding nervous and a little hysterical. He couldn't have Perry getting arrested for murder.

"Come on, Perry. My shifts almost over, we'll just go home, okay? And maybe we can do something, something like in those texts, you know? That may be fun, yeah? Just promise me you won't do anything."

Perry stared suspiciously at JD. "Why don't you want me to kill him?"

"Well, I'd like to say it's because killing him would be a loss, but mostly it's because I'll miss you if you go to jail," JD turned his puppy-eyes on, knowing Perry wouldn't possibly be able to resist. "Please, let's just go home. Please?"

Perry sighed, knowing he was defeated. "Fine. But I need to get my cell phone from that jackass."

JD nodded a little uncertainly, "Sure thing, just . . . don't kill him, okay Per?"

The older doctor smirked a little, "Oh, I won't kill him."

--

That night, Perry took JD home and tended to him well enough that the younger doctor couldn't even find it in him to care the next morning when he returned to work and saw a certain pervert Janitor with a huge, blackened circle around his left eye.

THE END

Well, hope you enjoyed it! Yes, I realize it was REALLY OOC. I just enjoy protective!Perry a lot, and I like to think that if he wasn't in a screwed up relationship (ex: with Jordan, not that I don't like them as a couple on the show) he would act like this. And if it bothers you how OOC Perry was, you can just replace his name with Draco and JD's name with Harry. And make the texts owl letters or something. Hee. Anyhoo, until next time, hasta la vista, babes!

Also, please don't post any spoilers for the last season of Scrubs (=[) in reviews, if anyone reviews, because I am really far behind. Thanks!

- Jess

**OKAY, EVERYONE. IMPORTANT NOTICE: I wrote this a couple months ago, before I got into this thing called bandslash. It involves real people, in the real world, in bands like Panic at the Disc, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, etc, in romantic homosexual relationships, and RPS is not allowed on here. Therefore I have posted quite a few more stories on my livejournal, which can be found here: .com. If anyone's interested, feel free to check it out. =D I probably won't be posting many stories on here anymore, sorry. They'll all definitely go on my LJ, though!**


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